Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in shantastic's LiveJournal:

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Monday, March 20th, 2006
1:58 pm	Ok, It's been a while since I've written so I figured I'd give it a whirl. I graduated. So now I'm living in New York on 13th and 7th in this women's residence place. It's like a nice hostel/hotel/boarding house deal. I'm working at the cafe' at barnes and nobles and I have a few auditions coming up. I miss all my firends from home! Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: M.I.A/Galang (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
6:42 pm	disappointed well the writer didin't show up. I figured as much. It's just as well though, considering that i went for a bit. I fixed it right away but still...My performance noted said that I did well though...so.....yeah k...bye 3rd semester, all that is left of you is vps monologues (fuck yeah trainspotting) and fucking bohemian rhapsody performance. fuckin amda.... Current Mood: cynical (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
9:36 pm	nevousnervousnervous Ok so tomorrow I have my acting and musical thater performance final and VPS monolouge dress reheraseal. nervous.....excited.....crazy....... Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
9:33 pm	Been Awhile Wow.I haven't posted in so long. Let's break it down. THE GOOD School's going well. I found a n accompniast and I can start wroking on my cabaret act. I may be singing with a jazz trio and the author of the new off braodway show that I'm doing a song from is coming to my final demo performance. Groovy THE BAD amda people drive me crazy. all the time I am still a pretty bad dancer. I'm losing contact with some friends. THE UGLY After a recent falling out with someone who used to be a good friends. I've decided that if I am ever fucked pver like that again by someone, I will not attempt to reconcile. If I see this bitch, I'll fucking slap her fat face. I miss all you guys and hope you are all well. Adios. Current Mood: blah (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
12:56 pm	Fuck you This won't apply to most people who read it. All my thugs know that this has nothing to do with them. Fuck friends. I'm serious. You either have a friend for so long that your relationship ceases to mean anything or they fuck you over. No one really knows anyone else anyhow. Am i wrong? I can't stand it! I always take time out of every day to muse on the subject of friendship. Usually I end with an epiphany on how lucky i am to have such great friends. For the most part this is still true. The following statements were begotten from realizations I've had during the week. i doubt that the people that need to read this even will, seeing as how one of them has failed to be on lj forever. But anyway, who cares, I'm ranting. 1. If you want to pretend like we've never been friends that's cool. Just know that i stuck up for your crazy ass for WAY TOO LONG! This included defending you form other people's slings and arrows for over a year. And you never had a clue. I guess cowardice is in back in style. Have a nice life. I'm sure you have a bright future to look forward to, asshole. 2. Shut your jealous mouths. I don't need that shit. I always find this shit out so go ahead and talk all you like. 3. I know i'm not perfect but I do my best to be civil and treat people well. Especially my friends. I will no longer waste my time on bullshit. If you don't have smething nice to say, don't say anything at all! It's called civility people, give it a try. Well, that's pretty much it. Like i said, this doesn't apply to a lot of you, I'm just ranting. I'm tired of wating emotion on people. So Fuck it. Current Mood: contemplative (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
1:36 am	Well, Well, Well I haven't poated in some time. I've been to busy rotting what is left of my min on myspace. Most of you seem to have it. So, nothing is really new. I've gotten rid of some assholes to deis! Power to ya! Umm, right now im figuring out if i want ot go get something to eat bec im hungry somehow, but its 2 am!, whatever im still hungry. I turn twenty no saturday. I"m so old now. I'm off to get food! Peace, biatches! Current Mood: hungry (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 24th, 2005
2:49 am	I love Rufus!!!! Thank you for this bitter knowledge Guardian Angels Who left me stranded It was worth it Feling abandoned Makes one hardened But what has happened to love? Got me writing lmits on postcards Then in the evenings, Looking at stars But the birhgtest of the planets is mars What has happened to love? So I will opt for the big white limo Vanity fairgorunds and rebel angels Can't be trusted with feathers so hollow You're heavans invention Steel eyed vampires of love You see over me I'll never know What you show to other eyes Go Oh,Go ahead And surprise me Say youll get through to other eyes Go Oh Go ahead And just try me What has happened to love? Nowhere is now here smelling of junipers fell out of hey bails And over the rainbows kiss me and crucify this unholy lotion of the mythic powers of love Look in her eyes Forget about the ones that are crying Go oh, go ahead and surprise me Go Oh, go ahead And just try me What has happened to love? RUFUS IS AMAZING!!!!!! COULD ANY OTHER SONG HOLD AS MUCH MEANING FOR ME RIGHT NOW???!!!!!! Current Mood: moody (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
5:08 pm	Ow... Some people have no idea ho much they can hurt you... Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 11th, 2005
4:44 pm	Down in it I have not been his down in a while. what is wrong with. I'd say Iwant to go back to school but I'll just feel the same. People are the same everywhere. I feel gross. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 28th, 2005
4:50 pm	Whether the weather be cold..... Tornados an 70 mph winds are scary. Especially when you think one of your friends is stuck ina storm. Current Mood: relieved (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
12:16 am	Rufus fucking Wainwright Why Am i always on a plane or a fast train? Oh what a world my parents gave me.. Always traveling but not in love Still i think im doing fine.. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
2:20 am	I would just like to state for the record that I absoloutely hate the dryers in this fucking building. I have seriously had my clothes in the dryer for 2 hours. I keep putting more coins in and still, more moisture. Fuck this buildning!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: angry Current Music: jekyll and hyde- this is the moment (Comment on this)
Friday, May 20th, 2005
3:46 am	What am I doing? It is three in the morning and I am still up when I should have a nine am performance tomorrow. I am seriously cursing the day I got a fucking myspace. There was one a time when I did not spend hours a day fartng around on this fucking site. A time when I wouldn't say to myself after a long day of school, " Wow I 'm hungry. I could go for some food...No I'll just dick around on myspace for a bit. I know I'm not the only one. What's also amzing is the sheer amount of poeple that have one. They just kind of appreard. some of the profiles and groups aret truly tragic though which makes it hilarious and gives it charatcer. When ever I got a comment or a message or a request on myspace from some weird or lame person I always fucking laugh. I've been thinking about a lot of that stuff lately. Computers, Camera phones blackberrys and all that stuff. It seems to me as though we have all of this technology but we seem to use it for entertainment and arms purposes. Theres also the simple sloth promoting items such as the electric paper towel dispenser (complete with motion sensor!!!) and the automatic trash can. There's an invention for you. What lazy peice of shit invented that? Every time I have to use one I always feel kind of tragic. I bet though that out there there is some person who. everytime the come across one of these objestc in a mall or movie theater find their under worked heatrs are filled with glee. Jesus who are all these people?? Things have been going pretty well. Right now I am thinking that I am in deep shit because i nned a prop gun for my song tomorrow and do not have one. That is going to be bad. Very bad. I am very happy that I am coming home for memorial day weekend and then a day after that is my 3 week break. It'll be great to see all my thugs again. Also during this little vaction I will be heading down to Florida with the folks. My aprents and I have been getting along lately which is a bit odd. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I should probably go to bed. Seeing as how I have two performances tomorrow. I'll be fine.. I just need a fucking prop gun!! GRR! A sidenote- I am very jealous of everyone who got to go to the nin dresden dolls show. I really wanted to go. I hope they enjoyed it and I hate all of them. Another sidenote- I think I have been smoking entirely too much pot lately. That sia all Current Mood: high Current Music: Icredibly, I'm a hustler. (I'm asuming that's the name) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
1:34 pm	Here it is an entry... Well hi kids! not much is happening.. well actually a lot has happened but I've probably been too busy or too drunk to realize it. I have realized one thing. I can be a real fucking peice of shit sometimes. Thanks god most of my closest friends alredy know and accpet this asa charatcer flaw that pops up form time to time. The thing is, when I transform into this pile of feces it is rarely others that I end up causing problems for..it's alwyas myself. I should reslly be pretty happy right now...I dont know why I'm so pissed. Maybe it's becua you can't really have a decnt conversation with anyone at this school. maybe it's becuase of all the times I was such a fucking little asshole to my mom and dad Yeah they made some big mistakes but so did I and there were plenty of time s that I could of let shit slide but just kept pushing it further and furthewr uphill. I have this creeping feeling that I am not the good person a lot of people think I am. I mean we all fuck up from time time but I really feel like such an ass. It's nothing specific, just a mixture. A nice little stir fry of shame if you will. I'm sure this will pass.. it's probably the low self esteem talking. My teachers have ben on my case latley becuase I beat myself up and havea lack of confidence. When did my confidence fade?? I mean it was always hiding but it would come out from time to time and shine pretty bright. Sometimes I just want to be a beautiful dumb girl. Well i do apolpgize for this tirade..wait... no id on't. It's my fucking journal and i'll write what i please. Fuck this. I'm gonna go take a nap and by some nice shampoo after thater dance. Current Mood: crappy (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
5:09 am	interesting So i was gong to stay in tonight...wow..what a crazy few weeks. I can't wait to sleep in. Current Mood: drunk (Comment on this)
Monday, April 11th, 2005
2:17 pm	Just hearing the words "vocal problems" being mentioned to me scares the living shit out of me. It scares me the way the words "inoperable brain" tumor scare other people. I cannot have fucking vocal problems. How fucking vague! At least give me a specific fucking thing you think might be wrong! Didn't she even think that the fact that I'm sick and I smoke might have something to do with how breathy my voice has been lately? God I fucking hate this shit! I seriously just need a compotent voice specialist to tell me whats going on! Thnk God for mary feeny. Maybe she'll actually let me know. The sad part is that I'm probab;y flipping out over nothing. I'm probably fine. But just the mention of those two words in passing... Current Mood: distressed (Comment on this)
Monday, April 4th, 2005
5:37 am	Fuck you mouse! Fuck you mouse. My tiny box of a room is not big enough for the both of us. You will never cause me another sleepless night again. Your day is coming pal! Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)
Monday, March 28th, 2005
1:11 am	A - Age you got your first kiss: i duno... 12? B - Band listening to right now: amda kids singin C - Crush: that dude aaron D - Dad's name: butch E - Easiest person to talk to: kat F - Favorite band at the moment? pink floyd G - gummy worms or gummy bears?: worms H - Hometown: bucks county pa I - Instruments: voice J - Joints smoked: too many k - kids : never L - Longest car ride ever: that would be the drive to florida M - Mom's name: Joan N - Nicknames: Shantastic, Shannanon, O - One wish: To get work P - Phobia[s]: icky bugs Q - Quote: "I'm intelligent. How do you spell intelligent?"- ME R - Reason to smile: i saw all my buddies this weekend S - Song you sang last: that fucking love me tender warm up T - Time you woke up [today]: noon U - Unknown fact about me: I love tea V - Vegetable you hate: asparagus W - Worst habit(s): smoking X - X-rays you've had: are x ray's only for bones? Y - Yummy food: pizza pie Z - Zodiac sign: leo Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 24th, 2005
4:07 pm	BORED 2 Scents I Love 1. coffe 2. rain 4 Things I Am Thinking About 1. can i afford smokes? 2. that i still haven't learned my italian song 3. whether or not rehersal with K.J. will go smoothly 4. costumes for tomorrow 2 Things That I have done today 1. Went to film lab 2. ate lunch 4 Drinks I Regularly Drink 1. coffe 2. water 3. cherry pepsi 4. booze Last Words I Said excuse me Last Thing I Laughed At Chapelles show last night...it was the wayne brady one What's In my CD Player Sublime What's Under my Bed I have drawers under my bed which contain dvds, books and dancin shoes. Current Clothes black shirt gary and red plain pacific sunwear flairs Current Annoyance my musical theater paperwork Physical Feature Of The Opposite Sex eyes, lips, arms,....fukking everything Favorite Place To Be with my girls! Favorite Colors black red purple pink green Identify Some Of The Things Surrounding Your Computer: the computer sign out thingy, my cell Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
11:32 pm	Motherfuck... Yeah so this wee is fukkin gay. and by gay i don't just mean the throngs of guys at my school. Or maybe I do. I NEED A MAN! SOME ACTION!!!! yikes! anywho...I also need money, holy fuck man...i can't wait to get drunk. Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)